The Black Widow The Size Of Texas

So me and Tailynne were going to put up the christmas lights outside but we couldn't find the lights forever cuz of moms junk rooms-yes that is rooms- but we finally found them in the pantry downstairs. Not even were mom said they were. We were so happy that we finally found them til i looked over and saw a BLACK WIDOW THE SIZE OF TEXAS!!!!!!! Well, being the resourceful girls we are we called everyone in my phonebook. No one could help. Dad told us that since it is winter they are cold and they won't move very much. He was laughing the whole time cuz he knew it could move like lightening. We asked if we could spray it with tanning spray. He lovingly replied "haha no." We asked if we could spray it with carpet cleaner. He again replied. "haha no." So we asked if we could spray it with spray paint. He replied, "That would work better than tanning spray." Thanks for the help dad. So we decided to take matters into our own hands and find a weapon. We needed something that was not to long, not to short, not too fat, not too thin, not to round, not to square, not to. . . etc. Hmmm So we continued to look. After many seconds of pondering the perfect weapon for the disposal of THE BLACK WIDOW THE SIZE OF TEXAS we found . . . . . . a tennis racket-from the 80's. It was PERFECT!!!! it was short and long, fat and thin, round and square, plus etc and etc. Now, armed with the perfect weapon we ventured back to the pantry. AHHHHHHHHHH. . . . there it is!!! I the assistant, bundled up in my coat incase THE BLACK WIDOW THE SIZE OF TEXAS, aka the BWTS of T, got on the end of the tennis racket and Tailynne, the BWTS of T assassine, flung it back onto me. As the assistant I gave her moral support and recorded the murder of the BWTS of T. She went to work nervously. Moving boxes, shaking from pure terror, screaming, and trying not to disturb to BWTS of T. The following contains graffic images, PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!! Leave it to the professional BWTS of T squad.

The BWTS of T squad is located in Plymouth UT. If you need help with a BWTS of T, please call 1-800-BWTS of T (1-800-298-7638).